Monday, 19 March 2012

Hey you teacher - leave us kids and our best friends alone

Primary schools are adopting a 'no best friends' policy to shield children from the pain of falling out
The news that some primary schools are adopting a ‘no best friends’ policy to prevent children from the pain of falling out has really got me really grumpy.  Even having a ‘policy’ on best friends is crazy in itself, but surely only a cold hearted lonely soul could even think that these relationships, even if they do come with some pain sometimes are not worth it.

I have been thinking about my best friend a lot recently for a lot of reasons. We haven’t been friends since primary school but we have been friends our entire adulthood.  Back in 1985 one of my favorite Uncles was getting married which meant and me and his fianc├ęs sisters were duly decked out in matching peaches and cream froth as was the fashion in the mid eighties. After the duty of standing around looking like a prize fools was done came the good bit – the party.  As the new Mr & Mrs took their first dance two teenagers giggled over too much rum punch and gleefully told men, who were old enough to be our fathers, to stop leering down our sweetheart necklines.  In those few short hours a deep and meaningful relationship that would outlast many a marriage blossomed.

I even made a card to celebrate best friends
That friendship is one of the most important relationships I have had and am ever likely to have.  When my daughter’s father smacked me in the head it was my best friend who held my hand when I had my skull x-rayed.  When the same man died and I was blamed for his death ( I promise I wasn’t there) it was my best friend that held my other hand while I paid my respects at his funeral.  It was the same best friend who held my hair out of my face when I chucked my guts up after drinking maybe a little too much on a stag do in Milan and that same best friend had me doing a runner (at eight months pregnant) from restaurant who gave us appalling service.  Yes she is a bad influence.  Of course we’ve had our problems over the years; we are, contrary to a common misconception only human but that relationship is me and quite simply if I hurt she hurts and if she hurts I hurt and we have no choice, for our own mental well being, to sort problems out.

But what about the relationships that are formed in primary school?  

My daughter and her bbf met at primary school.  They went to different secondary schools and now go to different colleges.  I love how much they love each other and how when they need each other they are just there.  I am grateful that my girl has found that other soul who will be there for her, protect and laugh with her and when she needs it kick her up her jacksee.  Far from being a problem, for some of us our relationship with our best friend is the one relationship we don’t give up on or walk away from, it is what makes us us and what teaches us trust, loyalty and respect and no school policy can change that.

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.  ~Author Unknown

And as for you Miss De Lisser – you are the wind beneath my wings. 

Diesel and Pants forever  #mybestfriend

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